who am i?

Let me tell you the story of a very sweet young woman. Who smiled and nodded. Smiled and nodded. Yes. Sure. Yes Okay. Oh, they didn’t really mean that. Oh, I don’t think they would like that. Sorry. I’m sorry. Whatever you want. It’s okay no big deal. For sure, I will be there. She moved about the world like a fairy reflecting the beauty and the gifts and the potentiality of all those around her. Cuz “Beauty lies in every soul. If you wait . .  If you wait for it” And wait she did. She waited for someone to see her big beautiful soul. Though, it didn’t quite feel like waiting at the time because there was so much to see and explore.

While it was true she was sweet, perhaps sickly so, she was also very wild. Which took her from midwest suburbs to very beautiful and remote places and it gave her the appearance of a confident woman forging her own path. And, while it was true that she was sweet, perhaps sickly so, it was also true that she cared deeply in her bones about the earth and the people and the suffering. She could feel it. You see there were always parts and pieces of Soul Truth in her story that she couldn’t quite see the sickly so. Until one day she couldn’t breathe very well and it seemed every moment she was alone, she cried. It’s okay. It’s no big deal. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. She crumbled. She left 10+ years in the sustainable travel industry. She left her on again off again on again of again boyfriend. Because you see he was big hearted, sickly sweet too. Then she hit the coast with a pit stop season in the fields of a small Montana farm. 

This is when the Great Mother entered. She entered in the Tall grasses. Stretches of sand and sun. Crickets and chickens. Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Birdsong on my forehead. There, there. You are held, dear one. I see you, dear one. For all you have no language for, there, there. And the women asked Great Mother… Who am I? Who the hell am I? . . . Silence. Sweet silence. 

This is when the body spoke. Deep breathes. Rest, dear one. Rest. Dance. Move. Massage Therapy. Yoga. Meditation. Deep waves of sadness washed over her. Deep rage welled up within her. Good, dear one. Good. 

Waves coming in from deep sea. 
Finally touching shore
Collapsing into solid ground
And sighing, sighing, sighing 
Hugging that solid sand, golden and warm
It had been there all along

And together they healed the sickly sweet. And a woman emerged, cleansed and new. Who am I? Who the hell am I? 
Patience, dear one. Patience. 

The is where the Feminine Power community came in and women from around the world. You know there is another way. I’ve been there too. How are you talking to yourself, dear one. My gosh, you sound mighty mean. Have you met Great Spirit, dear one? Birdsong on the forehead. Come in. Come in. You belong, you belong. 

Slowly, the essence of her being rose buoyed by others on the path and her big heart merged with the wisdom of her tears and the guidance of her rage and the whispers of her body. She could share from this place. “This is me. This is me.”