Do You feel like there’s never enough time?
Most people feel like they never have enough time. Imma call, “bullshit!” Feeling like you never have enough time is a byproduct of our hyper-masculine, consumerist culture. You know the one always whispering in your ear to have more, be better, become a hyper-efficient robot, and to sleep-when-you die! You know the other thing it’s a byproduct of. . . You might want to sit down for this. YOU! not taking control over the things you have control over. I’m ripping the bandaid off so we can air this wound out.
I have come to view not having enough time as one of the sneakiest and easiest forms of victim mentality to get into. It’s easy because it’s everywhere and we collectively talk about it as if it were a badge of honor. It’s almost baked into our cultural collective of what success looks like. It looks busy. It’s pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality. It’s so sneaky because it looks like you’re playing by the rules and doing everything right. I’m a hustling entrepreneur! I’m super mom! I’m saving the planet! I can’t stop. If I do things will fall apart. Even though I’m exhausted. Even though I don’t know how long I can do this.
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - Krishnamurti
We are waaaay out of balance. I mean this collectively. There is no off switch. No this is enough for today. Hell, you could work 3 jobs these days and still not make enough to make ends meet. I see very few depictions of rest outside of “take that vacation you deserve” and convenience services & products. What I don’t want this blog to say is you are playing the victim if you feel like you never have enough. Enough time in this instance. There are certainly finites to living on this plane of reality we call Earth. Extractive resources are finite, time in this plane, finite. Growing wealth inequalities and the housing crisis are creating a palpable squeeze and heavy pressure to take on more just to survive. I am not saying there’s not real & mounting reasons to feel pressure and behind. What I am saying is you have more choice and control in your day to day than you’re exercising.
Coaching is a process of taking radical ownership over the choices and state of your life. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t outside forces deeply impacting us, but it requires that we reclaim authority where we can. How you fill and structure your days is up to you. Period.
Here are three simple suggestions to reclaim your days . . .
1) Remove “I have to” from your vocabulary. Replace it with “I am choosing to”. I have to grocery shop to I choose to grocery shop at this time. Maybe it is the most convenient time and it has this air of “its the only time”. It’s still a choice. My partner was going through old email one day and remarked how wild it was to look back at all the things that felt urgent at the time only to see how trivial they were in hindsight. This is true for a lot of the things we place pressure on ourselves for. It’s self-generated pressure. It might not relate to everything on your list, but I am certain there are several things you might find more ease and flexibility with by using this practice. By adding choice, you can also choose to NOT do.
2) Release the idea that you need to do everything yourself (a cultural favorite - we tend to view asking for help as a sign of weakness. This is just silly.). Make a list of 10 things you could benefit from having support with & people or services that could support you.
3) Practice saying NO to things. I work with many clients who struggle with this one, so I feel somewhat sheepish suggesting this as if just reading I need to say no will somehow make that easy if you have built up a solid habit of people pleasing. But, my goodness, it’s key and I promise not as terrifying as it might feel.
If you frequently feel like a chicken with its head cut off running around from one thing to the next with no end in sight, Hop on a Discovery Call and restore a sense of choice and sanity back into your life.